When Judgement brings us a ‘wake up call’…
If I were to choose one card that reflects the last month it would be JUDGEMENT, the MaJor Arcana card that heralds the ‘wake up call’. The card that speaks of having an ‘Ah ha’ moment, when suddenly there’s , a moment of clarity, a message that breaks through loud and clear, a moment of truth. A knowing.
Judgement depicts the trumpet call of Divine guidance that is wakes us up to a truth we need to hear now!
Mine was half way through a ski holiday after three wonderful sunny days of joy, achievement and challenge. The challenge of balancing the daily stress of getting ready, checking ski pass, getting my boots on! Carrying skis, up a metal stair case to the first lift, always slightly rushing to keep up with my more accomplished companions experts along side the novelty and thrill and beauty, with breakthrough moments when I could ski!
Day four, with so much sunshine the deep slush got to me and I fell five times. Day five I stayed home, having woken in the middle of the night with the realisation that oh so easily I could have hurt myself, as my sister had reminded me the evening before when she ended up being carried off the mountain on a stretcher, falling from a standstill in deep slush. She broke her leg so badly she was pinned with a metal rod and on crutches for 6 months.
And then I had an ‘attack’ (identical to Christmas Day when I ended up in A & E) which started at lunchtime, stitch pain nausea, ending up with throwing up wretchedly till 4 am. And because I had to get up and pack at 5.45 to catch a plane, ‘it’ nausea restarted on the winding journey down the mountain, and onto the plane, and in the arrival hall and on the train from Gatwick, thank goodness for the sick bags on the plane. A brief reprieve when I got home to my sofa prevented me from dashing to A & E and then started up again that night with paramedics arriving 10 p.m.
The end of an era. The beginning of a new!
The upshot of all this, or perhaps wake up call, is to say, with plenty of time to contemplate death, or rather feeling so ill I thought I was going to…..I learned something invaluable. The power of compassion, kindness for those who are ill!
Even when once over my throat was so painful, trying to rehydrate was another challenge, until one genius friend suggested gargling with soluable aspirin, a tip to be remembered! Slowly over the next two days I was able to take a bite of food here and sip of luke warm liquid there mostly sleeping on my sofa in the sunshine of conservatory, day 5, I managed to eat a full supper! Basically it took me the week to feel myself again. I didn’t having the strength desire to want to do anything, except… go out into the park and greet the burgeoning blossoming spring, and be in nature. And read. I didn’t have the energy to see anyone, except a couple of my dear friends with good nursing skills.
Without the cause and as yet no diagnosis of imminent death, unlike the tumour (benign as it turned out but the size of a melon to the astonishment of my surgeon) when I was busy making a pact with the Almighty to amend all my bad ways, this time the lack of energy and desire to do anything, reminded me what the priorities of contentment were. Sunshine, going into the park, smelling the blossom, the luxury of being able to veg out on the sofa, do nothing, listen to music, and interesting people on the read….Read!!…brought a difference kind of appreciation about what matters. And it was kindness and the compassion I received from others which made all the difference. Of which I received from strangers also, in the plane, passport control, luggage, train, street.
Perhaps THE Ah ha moment, was when the friend who was landed with ‘nursing’ me started stroking my back, oh the comfort of being touched, of being stroked, of feeling cared for, (even by a friend who was more of an acquaintance) was a revelation. I felt so much better when she was stroking me?! Her compassion and understanding of what I needed, from being a Mother nursing her children, was such a nurturing boon. I had no idea how soothing being cared for could be! How holding her hand comforted me so. How when she held my brow to see if I had a temperature I was reminded me of my mother’s cool hand on my brow, the hand that spooned food into my mouth, rocked me to sleep. I actually wept for longing.
I learned when sick, it can be a desperate place to be, especially if you are alone. You need comfort. You need care. You don’t want to be ill and alone.
We need physical touch. And so many of us have so little of it.
I have a friend who gives good hugs, she literally pulls you into her soft bosom and it feels so good, especially good when you give in to it. It was my wake up call. I am giving more hugs. Paying more attention to giving them and receiving them.
Do come and have a tarot reading with me in Battersea or online via Whatsapp or Zoom. Online readings are just as powerful. I might even say having a tarot reading is like having a virtual hug. I don’t hug clients who come to me, but perhaps I should ?