The Wounded Healer and the Nine of Wands
Yesterday a client came for a tarot reading in Battersea and sat opposite me in floods of tears. She was really under the influence of the nine of wands, half of her rebellious and defensive, the other half overwhelmed and really afraid her boyfriend was going to end it.
She recognised she had dramatically over reacted to something that had happened which had turned into a row and escalated to an issue and he wasn’t communicating to her. She didn’t know what to do. I so identified with her because some of us, most of us, are wonderfully confident and outspoken when things are going out well in our relationships, but can so quickly lose confidence and retreat into old patterns of fear of being rejected, of everything going horribly wrong, very quickly, when our boyfriend doesn’t call.
The nine of wands shows a man with a bandage around his head, he has eight wands behind him and is holding the ninth wand defensively in front of him. When a client receives this tarot card in a reading my heart goes out to them because it know they are feeling hurt and misunderstood. And so often the current hurt has triggered past similar hurts. This is how the Tarot can be so kind as the message of the 9 of wands is okay this is how you feel, you have every reason to feel this, take a moment to understand yourself and what happened, and be kind. Accepting our hurts and wounds is part of healing as it is part of the whole. And then Yes definitely make sure you set your boundaries to protect yourself. However, you also need to make sure you are not being over sensitive or defensive as it may just be your vulnerabilities that are making you over react and feel overwhelmed and you don’t want to build a barrier between yourself and the world. You’ve had a set-back (that to some extent is all in your mind hence the bandage around the head) but don’t let that stop you progressing.
What I said to her, and what I am ending up reminding myself, having just pulled the 9 of wands as my advice card for the day ! don’t crumple now, take up that tenth wand, remember wands represent inspiration and fire, be persistent, grit your teeth (if you have to) and get on with your day. Perhaps take a walk and ground yourself so that you able to look up and realise this is just a little blip in the big picture of life, you might even be able to laugh ruefully. Don’t collapse, draw the line in the sand over which you will not allow anyone or anything to encroach your boundaries. This far and no further thank you. Be brave, and kind to yourself. Accept you are not a perfect human being at all times and you make mistakes. Hold your head up, and get some fresh air. And when, next week the sun is shining and you are out of your funk, remember when that horrid fearful feeling happens again, and it will, you don’t have to loiter in it, you can grab that tenth wand and get on with your life.
The wounded healer reminds us that by accepting and coming to terms with our wounds we find healing and feel whole.
Good luck to my friend of yesterday and myself today.