The advice of the Devil in a tarot reading
Yesterday a client asked for a reading via WhatSapp. She generally comes to me in Battersea but she was in a real dilemma about her relationship. The relationship spread we chose was six cards, each reflecting an aspect, her in relationship to him, him in relationship to her, the bridge - what connects them, obstacle, best course of action, and probable outcome, if you follow the advice card. Her advice card was the Devil.
Most people are a bit alarmed by the Devil, after all a half human half beast with huge horns stares out at you, he dominates the picture and below him stand a naked man and woman who are chained to each other. Predominantly black with red flames the card conjures up images of fire and brimstone, sex, hot passion, and perhaps a little S & M…..and that’s the challenge with this card because it hints at one’s passions getting a bit obsessive and verging on the destructive side.
While passion is a great thing, when you look at a situation through the lens of the Devil, you might ask yourself are there habits or behaviours where you’ve become obsessive; it can be over anything, work, play, food, alcohol, addiction, perfectionism….
My client was clearly obsessing, but didn’t say to her stop obsessing about your relationship, because when you are obsessed its easier said than done. I did say it may be possible you have lost sight of yourself as a separate identity.
I remembered Kahlil Gibran’s poem on marriage which says ‘stand together yet not too near together: for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow’. A wonderful image of partnership, which we discussed, two trees side by side looking out over the world, both uniquely themselves and independent of each other. The poem begins with ‘Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you’.
Given that the Devil is about passion, I felt he was saying, give this dilemma some space and have some fun, dancing would be good! Do anything that frees up your energy from feeling needy and a victim, turn your attention to what YOU love, you enjoy doing (besides the relationship). Get curious and explore your interests, your friendships, learn something new, grow. Getting inspired by life again may indeed reignite the relationship but first re-establish your own identity.
I have a great teacher who also says ‘What is the purpose of relationship?’ and after various responses along the lines of, to have someone to rely on, to share your life with, have a family etc, he says ‘The purpose of relationship is to have fun.’ Shock horror. And then he asks ‘Who is responsible for the fun?’ good question. And one that creates a certain amount of debate. It sounds like the kind of advice the Devil would give. After all we say things like ‘he’s devilishly handsome’, of a child ‘she’s a little devil’….we know what we mean….they are naughty and we find them irresistible.
So my friend, enjoy being a bit of a devil….raising a bit of hell….using your rebelliousness to fire you up and take this opportunity for some self-realisation. And when I say self-realisation I’m talking about realising your unique potential to enjoy and express yourself in the world. I look forward to more of it and good luck with the relationship!