The King of Cups in a Relationship Tarot Reading…

Like all tarot cards you can interpret them with different meanings depending on their position in a spread and the cards around them. There are obvious positive cards, like the Sun, that automatically make you feel optimistic and others, perhaps in the sword suit that definitely look less positive.

The King of Cups however is one of those cards when the positive and less positive meaning seem to be a bit contradictory and I find confusing. To this day, I still have an ambivalent feeling towards him.

All Kings are masters of their domain.  The cups suit in Tarot represents the realm of emotions. Therefore the King of Emotions must be the master of understanding and navigating emotions both their own and others….   He/she/they must have great emotional intelligence. And that’s how I always start describing the card.

However if you look at the illustration on this tarot card, the King of Cups is depicted sitting on a thrown tossing about in a rather turbulent sea. A King literally ‘at sea’ in an ocean of emotions.

The King of Cups looks like he’s afloat in a turbulent sea of emotions.

I always say the King of Cups has great emotional intelligence, after all he is the King, however he can have too many emotions and become overwhelmed by them.  He becomes emotionally wobbly.   And because he’s a King and kings are supposed to be in control, with all his emotions intelligence, when he feels vulnerable, he can lash out in defence.

The way I can understand this King is when I experience moments of emotional overwhelm. While I think I have all the emotional intelligence to understand a situation, I am still left feeling emotionally ‘at sea’. i.e. I cannot work out how to express myself and how to navigate the emotional challenge.

I’ll give you an example. I have a friend who has become very deaf and is loathe to wear her hearing aids all the time because she looses them. Understandable yes. When we are having one of those non conversations when she hasn’t heard something I’ve said which results in her either not responding (because she hadn’t heard me) or her thinking she heard and just jumping over me with quite often a non sequitur. And example this morning was when she asked me how I slept and I said not well, she said well strictly come dancing is the kind of show that gives you a good nights sleep. There’s no point me repeating myself, as the moment is over and it doesn’t really matter:-) But there are other times when if I try to explain the hearing misunderstanding that just happened she becomes impatient with me. And if I say ‘have you got your hearing aids on’…well its not really worth it she seems to become quite furious as if I am criticising. I understand the frustration (we are both frustrated) what I cannot fathom is her reaction. I would say oh (breezily as it is no big deal really) sorry I havent got my hearing aids in what did you say? what did I miss. I would be kind, apologetic, not furious. So I can only imagine there’s a defensiveness or embarrassment attached, or even shame, which I cannot understand at all. Her mother was deaf, its very bad luck, but its life. However (now thoroughly feeling in king of cups mode) I feel all at sea, with feelings of being shut down. Logically I feel if I could explain how it feels to be talked over, misunderstood, ignored, her frustration would reduce, or need to be defensive and see the genuine desire to find a way to communicate more equally. and understand I am not attacking her.

Meanwhile I am just having to shut up about it, as it offends her to be asked to put her hearing aids in.

I find my emotions confusing, as while I am sympathetic, I am left feeling less important in the relationship as I can’t ask to be heard (so to speak) and obviously I am not of enough interest for her to put her hearing aids in. Its altered the relationship considerably as while my friend has always had a high handed aspect, we all have our ‘faults’ now our communication has become a one way street, led by her. And I can’t reconcile her lack of consideration for me? And yet we have a long friendship, not close close friends but….you can see my king of cups dilemma. Lots of emotional intelligence and still too much emotion!

Feelings are complicated and I guess the king of emotions is the exemplar at reflecting this.

When you come for a relationship tarot reading with me, much of the meaning of individual cards will come from our discussing, the meaning as initially interpreted. by me and combined with your response and recognition. No one likes to be told how we feel, and no one else can tell us how we feel, however a tarot reading gives us the space to observe and come to a realisation of our own which is far more useful.  I don’t have an answer for myself, except there it is an example of a King of Cups dilemma.

 Do get in touch if you’d like a reading with me in Battersea or on line.