Gratitude can really help….

The five of cups isn’t a cheerful looking card, a man stands there in a black cloak gloomily surveying three cups that are spilled. He’s focussing on what ‘s gone wrong rather than turning round and seeing, let alone appreciating two full cups in front of him.

A decidedly despondent card, so when I got the five of cups as the outcome of a three card emotional spread in a Tarot reading I didn’t like it one bit.

I pride myself on being an optimist, so the idea that I might find myself feeling dissastified about my emotional life made me react badly.  “What do you mean my probable outcome will be the five of cups? “

My very kind teacher who was giving me the tarot reading as a birthday present said patiently, ‘Sue we all have to look at our dark side as well as the light’. 

My attitude to the the five of cups is stop being a misery guts and turn around and look at the two cups up i.e. BE POSITIVE …. however my wise teacher who knows me very well read the card differently, Sue you can’t just turn away from the dark to to get to the light. Sometimes you need to be prepared take a look at the disappointments of the past so that you can accept them and yourself. 

I didn’t like that much either. Look at the negative, I ‘hate’ having to look at it, hear it, think it….I do everything I can to avoid it. I like being positive. I’m happy being open about past heartbreak, hurts, disappointments, failures,  but I do not want to dwell on the part of me that might still feel sad, regret, sorry for myself (how loathesome) hasn’t forgiven myself (oh no!) for my failure when it comes to long-term relationships. Ok there’s a fatal flaw in my emotional make-up, so what? but Tim made me question whether I even fully appreciate the friends and love I do have ….. if my eyes are cast down on the spilled milk of past hurts and the missing  ‘soul mate’.

So quite a lot of realisations from a tarot reading. Tim also said realisations are great….. now you have to own them, be kind, digest, distil, absorb, accept.  So still a ‘work in progess’!  It turns out the miserable five of cups has a lot to offer after all and I am very grateful.

 

 

 

 

 

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WHY BOTHER?