Where do I stand in a Relationship?

 Having a tarot reading to clarify where you stand in a relationship is probably one of the most sought after requests I receive.

It’s not surprising as relationships are central to our lives and yet there are all sorts of dynamics at play that are way beyond our control.

With so many elements at play, relationships are magical things. There is ‘timing’, chemistry, reading each other’s mood, our past history, day to day challenges that all affect our relationships.  The balance of power constantly changes and how we tip the scales will ebb and flow. Relationships are a dance, sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow, sometimes they need a light touch and other times they need directness.  

This is the card of Reciprocity, and reflects the ‘give and take’ in a relationship. Who is doing the giving and who the taking?

Relationships involve every aspect of our lives, and where we can feel vulnerable and ‘at sea’ because they mean so much and yet so often, we are too close to the friend, partner, lover to be able to see things clearly, and too emotionally involved to be able to analyse the relationship without bias.

Freedom and fluidity is essential to keeping things alive and stimulating in any relationship, so asking your partner, potential lover, new date, mother, sister, friend, a direct question about how they feel may not be the way to go. Equally its exactly that elusive quality that’s makes relationships so intoxicating and challenging, and why they so often the central topic of conversation in a tarot reading.  Our relationships to others and to ourselves is central to our happiness.

Tarot can bring surprising insight and revelation, as well subtlety and nuance. And because the cards have multiple layers of meaning, illustrated by colour, symbols, architypes, the images on tarot cards communicate to us on a subconscious level, bypassing the logical,  often bringing our unconscious feelings to the surface,  and helping us understand the dynamics at play. 

The way I start such a reading is with an initial three cards. I ask you to choose a card to describe ‘you in relation to the other, then a second card to describe ‘the other in relation to you’ and a third card as ‘the bridge’, that describes what connects you currently, what the flow of energy is between you, ‘the vibe’ (if you like).

This relationship spread reflected an imminent engagement, the Querant needed to make her choice (The Lovers) and pick the apple off the tree.

Very often just these three cards give you the insight you need.  Especially the card that describes the energy currently between you.  You can immediately see the quality of engagement to each other.  

For example it is reassuring when you have a card like the Hierophant between you, because even if you are having ‘problems’ at the moment, the Heirophant indicates that your commitment and connection to each other is sincere.  Equally if you had the five of cups, although it would describe feeling a bit negative, you can feel encouraged that there are two full cups standing!

Very often you gain so much clarity just from these three cards about what is going on in the relationships that all you wish to do is perhaps pull an advice card.  Gaining clarity and understanding allays imagined fears and enables you to tune into the genuine emotions of the current situation, and so often the advice card, just confirms your intuition, that you weren’t able to tap into without the help of the cards.

Equally the situation may be tricky.  There may be outside influences that are affecting your relationships, that are beyond your control, but even then you can decide to ask more questions.  Sometimes it’s interesting to pull a card for ‘how you feel about them’ and then one for ‘how they feel about you’.  ‘What is unseen?’ is another question we can ask.  Until you can sense the truth of the cards and your relationships.

A tarot relationship spread works for family members, work colleagues, your boss, friends, anyone. Once you see the quality of energy flowing between you, and how each party are feeling you have more of a chance of building the connection you desire. And sometimes you know that it is time to walk away.

Come and have a relationship tarot reading with me in Battersea or Online.