Self-sabotage

We all do it from time to time; allow ourselves to get trapped by negative thinking, self-criticism, our doubts and fears, over-thinking generally. We are not sure of anything and rather than get anything wrong we don’t do anything and that’s the trap.

When clients get this card I always point to the picture…’ooh look the woman has tied herself up with all her thoughts (swords)’…..and then I look at them and say ‘do you self- sabotage?’ and invariably they give me a big smile, as if I’ve discovered the key to their character, ‘oh yes all the time, I’m terrible!’ followed by an even bigger smile.

It’s so interesting that we accept the habit of self- sabotage with such equinimity as the consequences can be so dire.

And guess what, I pulled it for my daily contemplation card this morning.  I had to smile because I was feeling very ‘tied up in knots’ about all sorts of things.  And it had been going on from the day before. I had enough awareness to realise I felt this way because I’d had a couple of set-backs which I perceived as clearly an indication that I was rubbish and done something very wrong.  So seeing the card made me smile. It was so apt, it was as if every sword, there are 8, were representing all the different options on my possible to do list that were circling my mind and about which I had got my knickers in a twist.   Should I text asking for clarification or not?  Should I re-write a post? Should I do some research before a zoom call?  Should I pick up the phone rather than email? and which hairdresser should I go to? You may laugh but that’s how m’fungled (muddled) I felt. And stuck.

And what’s infuriating about the 8 of swords is it’s all self-inflicted.  Of course, if you look at the trapped lady on the card, the ties are loose and she can easily step out of them….and she better do so quickly as the tide is coming in fast! That’s the other thing about this card….if you get yourself into a self-sabotaging cycle before you know it you’ve really got yourself in a deep funk …

It should have a big red warning sign DO NOT STAY HERE A MOMENT LONGER!

So where to start.  'Should I should write about 8 of swords for the blog?’  I pulled another tarot card, it was the 9 of pentacles….it will give you extra energy, more than you might expect…..so I figure start writing, it might just lift the spell I had cast upon myself.

So this morning, I’ve gone for everything in a totally random way and I can already feel my energy and confidence come back…after writing a draft, I composed the text I was afraid to send and got a positive response! …picked up the phone instead of emailing a colleague, and booked Ooh La La in Brixton (fingers crossed)….so now I’m thinking I will do that bit of research before the zoom call this afternoon. So back in the flow. Thank you Tarot. Smile.

 

 

 

 

Previous
Previous

Self-empowerment

Next
Next

The Fool